Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's blow job season.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
