well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
