I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
