nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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