Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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