Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
