It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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