Sponge bath it is.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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