you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
