i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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