drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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