great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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