what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
