i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
