quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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