when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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