I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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