is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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