one might say we're banned from that church
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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