I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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