This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
