i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
50% drunk capacity currently
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
