so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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