Sry I called you an 8
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
