Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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