So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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