You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
