You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
