that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
