Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I want to have your abortion
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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