My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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