oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
