is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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