Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
