i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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