the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize