I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
