just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
