We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im six kinds of drunk right now
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
