Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
