Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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