i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
