I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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