I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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