Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
