HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
