Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do vagina's smell?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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