Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
