Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
