dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
