Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize