BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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