But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
