You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i think im in europe. pls send help
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
