Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize