So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
