i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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