so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize