shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize