she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i drank out of a bidet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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