I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize