you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
