I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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