"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
