oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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