During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
