I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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