Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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